Decision-Making for Dummies! (plus a Bonus for Couples)

I don’t mean to offend you with the title. I’m not calling you stupid.  If anything, this is more autobiographical than anything.  It has been too often that I’ve felt dumber than dirt and not able to come to a right decision if it were staring me in the face.


As a result, like you, I’ve sometimes made some poor choices in life.  Some hurt for a moment while there are some where I’m still waiting for the pain to fade.  This is life.  Life can be hard.  Life can be full of pain, but life can also be full overcoming.




This blog is about overcoming.  Since 98% of your life is about your choices, you can FROM THIS MOMENT choose your way to a better life.  Here are five principles for making better decisions.  Approved by scripture, wise counsel and tough experiences.


Stop trying to come to the decision alone.  That’s the most dangerous position in which to be.  There are resources available to you – as well as The Source.  Resources = There is safety in a multitude of counsel.  Source = Pray by calling out to God in honest prayer and then listen!  And, when you pray, be aware that God’s voice does not sound like your voice.  If you always agree with what you believe you are hearing from God, you are most likely not hearing Him.  I’ll touch on that more below.

For now I want to focus on finding wise counsel.  Current thought says “follow your heart” or do it on your own.  The Bible says there is safety in a multitude of counsel.  The Bible says to seek out wise counsel.  Sometimes our friends and family do not fit the bill.  Nothing wrong with that.  That’s why God wants you to talk to more than a couple.  A multitude of counsel, says the Word.

Side note: Be honest and transparent with your counselors.  They can’t help with what they don’t know.  If they are there for you, you owe them unvarnished facts from your point of view.  At least give them that.


Extend your time horizon.  “Be emotional but not emotionally-driven.” – Thaddeus Eastland

The longer your time horizon, the better your decision-making. If you can imagine ten, fifty or even one-hundred years down the road, what will the right decision to make right now have been?  Try to think beyond your emotions in the moment.  Emotions are horrible drivers… they can steer you all over the road.  When you are able, give yourself time to come to the best decision.  When you are not able, try to project the outcomes of your decision as far forward as you can.  It’s just like driving.  When you focus only on what’s right in front of you, you are an accident waiting to happen!


Maybe do the thing or things you do not want to do?  More often than not, you know the right things to do.  You just don’t want to do them.  Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed or like you do not have the courage.  These are natural feelings.  That said, make every effort to prayerfully walk in the supernatural! Much of the time what God is calling you to do will go directly against what YOU want to do.  Ironically, that is often how you know it’s Him.  His thoughts are above your thoughts.  When you want to give up, He’ll say hang in there!  When you know it’s over, He’ll tell you it’s not.  His thoughts are different that your thoughts!




Follow your peace.  My experience is that most of your agony comes from indecision.  Sitting on the fence is a very uncomfortable place.  Ouch! Make a decision and then see if you have peace with it.  If you do not, decide the other way.  You think you can’t have it both ways?  Here’s a trick.  Take out a coin and toss it.  Tell yourself that “Heads” equals choice “A” where “Tails” equals choice “B” and then throw it up in the air.  Do you have peace with the coin’s decision?  If not, that’s a strong clue as to where your heart is leaning.


Back on the central point, God will give you peace when you’re following Him.  But here’s the gospel good news!!!  When we make a “mistake” God promises that He will work it for your good if you love Him and since you are called according to His purpose!  He will work it out! God keeps His promises!  Basically, that means you can have peace anyway.  God’s got you!


Pray.  Ultimately, all wisdom comes from God. If you have access to the All-Knowing, please, dear friends, take advantage of it.  Cry out to Him and then listen for His response. It will often come as an assured whisper in the middle of the noise.  It might require great courage to follow Him, but I’ve found that obedience towards God is always rewarded.


Here is what the Lord says:

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”Philippians 4:6-9 (MSG)


The Heavenly Father has given His own an insurance policy – you can’t go wrong when you endeavor to follow Him in faith.  Pray, saints, pray.  Instead of worrying, pray.  Take the issue to His feet and leave it there.


BONUS (For Couples): Follow The Policy of Joint Agreement from Dr. Harley (one of my favorite authors and counselors)!   “Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse.”  Never.  Dr. Harley has a well-document track record of helping couples save the most desperate of situations.  Check it out along with the rest of his tools.  I know there’s a blessing in them for you!


Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted!

He can be reached in the following ways:
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Author: Mark Anthony McCray

Entrepreneur, Speaker, Writer and Marketing & Sales Strategist. A leader from almost out of the womb, Mark Anthony McCray has become an experienced and in-demand speaker, financial counselor and performance coach. His passion is helping people get beyond their spiritual, emotional, financial, and entrepreneurial and LIFE limitations. He is committed to killing IGNORANCE and hopelessness worldwide!

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1 Comment

  1. Thanks for sharing your experiences with the world Mark. Lives are going to be changed for the better. I am so grateful that I’ve learned to seek help. We sometimes think it speaks to our lack of intelligence and renders us weak if we do but that’s one of humanity’s biggest deceptions. Resources and information are available. We must use them wisely! God bless you my friend!

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